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Thread: The Michael Owen Dossier

  1. #1

    Default The Michael Owen Dossier

    Anyone remember the brochure his agent and advisors whipped up to send to potential buyers to inform them of what a fantastic investment their client would be? I still laugh my tits off at it as much now as I did back then, what a riddy.




  2. #2

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Not a big fan of 3 button suits and always like to see a bit of cuff. For those reasons I wouldn't hire him

  3. #3
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Helicopter pilot


  4. #4
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Weirdly, I was thinking about his Madrid "hell" the other day. Him and his wife imprisoned in a luxury hotel in one of the greatest cities in the world

    "Madrid did plenty to help us, but they put us in a businessmen’s hotel for five months; we had a lovely room, but it was not conducive to playing happy families. Restaurants in Spain do not open until late at night and we could not have our kid staying up to midnight every night. It is just not right when they are two years old. We were putting her down at 7pm, lights off at 7.30, me and my wife would put the one English TV channel on mute while the little one went to sleep"

    F*ck off you utter tit

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Taking the piss out of a 13 year old keeper on his soccer school was a favourite of mine.

    An absolute bell end.

  6. #6

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    I read an interview recently as well were he said he's only ever watched a handful of films in his whole life as ''he doesn't like to be strung along'' (paraphrasing).

    The guy is clearly a weirdo

  7. #7
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by Drumchapel-Bear View Post
    I read an interview recently as well were he said he's only ever watched a handful of films in his whole life as ''he doesn't like to be strung along'' (paraphrasing).

    The guy is clearly a weirdo
    "michael owen‏Verifizierter Account
    @themichaelowen
    Folgen
    Mehr
    Can't stand films but watched the Inbetweeners series so got to give it a go. Watched about 8 films in my life and 5 of them were Rocky!!!"

    "Can't stand films" like it's honestly a comment only a spastic could come away with

  8. #8

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Brand Values

    "Charismatic"

    "Articulate"
    Having had the misfortune of hearing him commentate and do punditry work I think it's safe to say any buyer would be well within in their rights to claim their money back under the trades and descriptions act.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Can't stand him as a co-commentator, sounds like a scouse Dalek.

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by jdilla View Post
    "michael owen‏Verifizierter Account
    @themichaelowen
    Folgen
    Mehr
    Can't stand films but watched the Inbetweeners series so got to give it a go. Watched about 8 films in my life and 5 of them were Rocky!!!"

    "Can't stand films" like it's honestly a comment only a spastic could come away with
    🙈

    He sounds like he would be some laugh on a night out eh?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Clean and fresh. Exactly what a manager is looking for in a player. 😄

  12. #12

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave1873 View Post
    Taking the piss out of a 13 year old keeper on his soccer school was a favourite of mine.

    An absolute bell end.
    Is it Neville Southall that's in that as well?

    "Well done, he's 13" or something along those lines? 😂

  13. #13
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by Drumchapel-Bear View Post
    I read an interview recently as well were he said he's only ever watched a handful of films in his whole life as ''he doesn't like to be strung along'' (paraphrasing). O

    The guy is clearly a weirdo
    Im 57 and only watched maybe 25 film if that many as I cant sit for two hours, I watched Dunkirk two weeks ago but it must be 5 years since I watched any other film. If im a weirdo then im a weirdo

  14. #14
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by jdilla View Post
    Weirdly, I was thinking about his Madrid "hell" the other day. Him and his wife imprisoned in a luxury hotel in one of the greatest cities in the world

    "Madrid did plenty to help us, but they put us in a businessmen’s hotel for five months; we had a lovely room, but it was not conducive to playing happy families. Restaurants in Spain do not open until late at night and we could not have our kid staying up to midnight every night. It is just not right when they are two years old. We were putting her down at 7pm, lights off at 7.30, me and my wife would put the one English TV channel on mute while the little one went to sleep"

    F*ck off you utter tit
    The worst bit is that this whole statement is absolute shite. The Spanish are famous for eating late at night and having been to Madrid I can confirm that nothing's closed early.

  15. Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by mexi View Post
    Clean and fresh. Exactly what a manager is looking for in a player. 😄
    aye or someone "cool" lmfao that gave me a proper giggle and what part of Scouse is articulate? I'm sorry but I class that accent pretty similar to fast spoken Scottish and people understand nothing I say if they're not from here. Imo.

  16. #16

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by Fisher23 View Post
    Is it Neville Southall that's in that as well?

    "Well done, he's 13" or something along those lines? 😂
    That's the one, running away celebrating to the empty stand, nutmegs, smashing in volleys from 6yds. Class act.

  17. #17

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Was down in Chester for a job interview a couple of years ago and afterwards went for a quick pint. While standing in this pub I heard this annoying voice next to me and turned round it was Michael Owen. There is something about that guy I just can't stand.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave1873 View Post
    That's the one, running away celebrating to the empty stand, nutmegs, smashing in volleys from 6yds. Class act.
    https://youtu.be/WqOxNspUPyE

    Fu.cking throbber

  19. #19
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyShearer View Post
    https://youtu.be/WqOxNspUPyE

    Fu.cking throbber
    Christ that is painful to watch

  20. #20

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by talktalk View Post
    Im 57 and only watched maybe 25 film if that many as I cant sit for two hours, I watched Dunkirk two weeks ago but it must be 5 years since I watched any other film. If im a weirdo then im a weirdo
    It's his reasoning for not liking movies that makes him a crackpot

  21. #21

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    He's on a terrible radio advert just now for personal injury claims.

    Here he is talking about a time he got injured in their offices.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LN-Vkfv_tgw

    The most boring guy of all time.

  22. #22

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyShearer View Post
    https://youtu.be/WqOxNspUPyE

    Fu.cking throbber
    Haha, what an utter fanny! I like to think Southall toed his balls after that. Smarmy wee wank

  23. #23
    Join Date
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    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    A boring monotone little shit

  24. #24

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Well the marketing obviously worked for him.

    The last time I heard his annoying whiny voice was on the radio the other day advertising for a bunch of ambulance chasing accident claims company.

  25. #25

    Default Re: The Michael Owen Dossier

    Toe curling.

    Comes across as a total belter

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