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defender
06-08-2009, 14:15
http://i30.tinypic.com/35kix5g.jpg

As we all know Sir Davie headed Germans bombs from the trenches in the Somme but in the next war he actually distinguished himself as wing comander of 602 City of Glasgow Squadron.

He actually make the first successfull kill in 1939, whilst patroling the skies above the Clyde estuary protecting merchant shipping smoking his pipe and remaining calm (that was before the smoking ban on planes of course), he noticed some German ME109's heading towards Ibrox.

In true defensive reactions he calmly called 'tally ho' to his chums (including the uncles of Kevin Thomson and Steven Davis). This action along with several others saw Britain qualify for the next tie in France and saved Ibrox.

Not a lot of people know that !

Albertz Was King
06-08-2009, 14:16
Rumours are he taught Jesus Christ how to effectively use the offside trap.

TheBattleFever
06-08-2009, 14:19
Methuselah was in the same school team as Davie Weir

Sergio
06-08-2009, 14:19
Rumours are he taught Jesus Christ how to effectively use the offside trap.

I thought Jesus was a keeper? :confused:

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 14:21
I thought Jesus was a keeper? :confused:

He was just careful with his money.

Reid86
06-08-2009, 14:21
i seen him break Chuck Norris' leg in a game of 5 a sides.

gordon_blue
06-08-2009, 14:22
He earned his first international cap at the Battle of Flodden. Moving upfield for a late set-peice, he captured the English standard.

Some of the youngters in the side were happy to have a calm, experienced capmpaigner on their side who could talk them through the battle.

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 14:22
Davie should be congratulated for instigating the Cold War after WW2, so that there would be an Iron Curtain for Rangers to name their defence after.

Northampton_loyalist
06-08-2009, 14:23
http://i30.tinypic.com/35kix5g.jpg

As we all know Sir Davie headed Germans bombs from the trenches in the Somme but in the next war he actually distinguished himself as wing comander of 602 City of Glasgow Squadron.

He actually make the first successfull kill in 1939, whilst patroling the skies above the Clyde estuary protecting merchant shipping smoking his pipe and remaining calm (that was before the smoking ban on planes of course), he noticed some German ME109's heading towards Ibrox.

In true defensive reactions he calmly called 'tally ho' to his chums (including the uncles of Kevin Thomson and Steven Davis). This action along with several others saw Britain qualify for the next tie in France and saved Ibrox.

Not a lot of people know that !

did he not shoot down the italian ace paulo 'wan shot wan kill' maldini over abyssinia?

lostingrampian
06-08-2009, 14:24
Davie is really "Wilson" from the Victor, or was it the Wizard?
For the auld yins only.

Methuselah Loyal RSC

defender
06-08-2009, 14:26
During the Crusades Sir Davie successfully defended Jerusalem against a strong attack by Saladin, as is his trademark he headed away several sling shot boulders that had been launched against the city walls

but thats another story

stoddy
06-08-2009, 14:26
David Weir told William Wallace to wind his neck in and calm it doon a bit after he started shouting some phish on top of a hill!

defender
06-08-2009, 14:29
I wonder if he logs on and reads this stuff :D

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 14:34
I wonder if he logs on and reads this stuff :D

Davie invented the term "logging on" in the 19th century, when he kicked down half a forest, to make the cleared area read "We are the People" from the neighbouring mountaintops.

rangerstillidie
06-08-2009, 14:35
hopefully this is like the pedro mendes thread :D

plg_loyal
06-08-2009, 14:36
http://i30.tinypic.com/35kix5g.jpg

As we all know Sir Davie headed Germans bombs from the trenches in the Somme but in the next war he actually distinguished himself as wing comander of 602 City of Glasgow Squadron.

He actually make the first successfull kill in 1939, whilst patroling the skies above the Clyde estuary protecting merchant shipping smoking his pipe and remaining calm (that was before the smoking ban on planes of course), he noticed some German ME109's heading towards Ibrox.

In true defensive reactions he calmly called 'tally ho' to his chums (including the uncles of Kevin Thomson and Steven Davis). This action along with several others saw Britain qualify for the next tie in France and saved Ibrox.

Not a lot of people know that !

Bored at work are we :D

Blackwood_Teddybear
06-08-2009, 14:46
I heard Sir Davie took on the Zulus single handedly at Rourkes Drift.

What a man!

jake
06-08-2009, 14:48
Apparently the log barrier that the Thims had placed across the river mouth to prevent the Loyalists receiving supplies during the Seige of Derry received a severe head butting from Davie, to such an extent it became akin to matchwood and allowed the supply ships easy access.

frewtrueblue
06-08-2009, 14:50
Davie weir was the only defender on the planet that Stanley matthews never nutmegged!

TimzRFudz
06-08-2009, 14:54
Sadly I have to report that its not all good news regarding Sir David Weir. Apparently recently leaked NASA files have revealed that wayward headers from the big man were responsible for taking out not one but TWO different space shuttles :(

It is believed that the Hubble Space Telescope is still tracking the rogue Mitres into deep space.

Idioteque
06-08-2009, 14:56
David Weir told William Wallace to wind his neck in and calm it doon a bit after he started shouting some phish on top of a hill!


brilliant :)

defender
06-08-2009, 14:58
Sir Davie quietly tucks away 5 shredded wheat every morning and is too dignified to reveal what a pussy Ian Botham is in comparison, he politely declined a multi million pound tv commercial contract for the shredded wheat campaign.

Phantom Jack
06-08-2009, 15:01
If Davie Weir has £5 and you have £5, Davie has more money than you.

Apple pays Davie Weir 79p every time he listens to a song.

Davie Weir can sneeze with his eyes open.

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 15:05
If Davie Weir has 5 and you have 5, Davie has more money than you.

Apple pays Davie Weir 79p every time he listens to a song.

Davie Weir can sneeze with his eyes open.

That is a load of sh ite. Davie Weir only ever carries guineas in his wallet, just like he's always done.

defender
06-08-2009, 15:18
Where are all the photo shoppers ? a picture of Sir Davie standing by his spitfire would be quite apt at this juncture

Phantom Jack
06-08-2009, 15:26
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8137/davyik.jpg

CanadianBacon
06-08-2009, 15:29
There's a saying that Rome wasn't built in a day. In reality, it was built by Davie Weir in about two and a half hours. It only took so long because Davie stopped for lunch.

suramericaranger
06-08-2009, 15:30
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8137/davyik.jpg

:):):):):):)

Northampton_loyalist
06-08-2009, 15:30
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8137/davyik.jpg

:clap: :clap:

defender
06-08-2009, 15:33
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8137/davyik.jpg

:eek: That is young Davie, good find mate :)

boro_gers07
06-08-2009, 15:35
Davie invented the term "logging on" in the 19th century, when he kicked down half a forest, to make the cleared area read "We are the People" from the neighbouring mountaintops.

he did indeed

pol1
06-08-2009, 15:37
Sir Davie of Weir once turned up for training late - Smith fined the rest of the team for being early

thepower
06-08-2009, 15:42
When Sir Davie has an idea, he lifts a pallet of lightbulbs over his head

gordon_blue
06-08-2009, 15:47
Davie weir was the only defender on the planet that Stanley matthews never nutmegged!

Wrong!

When Scotland played England, the only time Matthews got past Sammy Cox was on the way back into the dressing rooms!

;)

kennyv231086
06-08-2009, 15:48
Sir David was once offered the holy grail, but refused as he already had one.

ChicagoBear
06-08-2009, 15:48
I thought Jesus was a keeper? :confused:

Jesus is the Rangers Number 4.

markyrfc
06-08-2009, 16:20
Davie Weir doesnt get wet, water gets Davie Weir :)

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 16:24
Wrong!

When Scotland played England, the only time Matthews got past Sammy Cox was on the way back into the dressing rooms!

;)

Davie Weir nutmegged Sammy Cox at training every day.

bertibombscare
06-08-2009, 16:29
Sir Davie once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

George Agdgdgwngo
06-08-2009, 16:33
Sir Davie of Weir once turned up for training late - Smith fined the rest of the team for being early

I laughed :o:)

moe szyslak
06-08-2009, 17:07
The aftermath of Davie's clampdown on the school bullies.....


http://library.christchurch.org.nz/Heritage/Photos/Disc1/IMG0072.jpg

StevieD80
06-08-2009, 17:07
Sis Davie also defeated Golliath!!
dont you know.

underthewall
06-08-2009, 17:10
Davie Weir pisses pound coins and shits twenty pound notes.

Tom Vallance
06-08-2009, 17:12
The 300 Spartans shat it when Davie told them to beat it because he wanted to put his sun lounger out at Thermopylae.

the_littlest_hobo
06-08-2009, 17:14
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
He fought them
He shot them
He Heids away the bombs
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme

mcleishmarrick
06-08-2009, 17:15
Rumours are he taught Jesus Christ how to effectively use the offside trap.

were there 10 german bombers in the air ? or do we just sing that !!!!!:angel:

defender
06-08-2009, 17:20
http://i29.tinypic.com/avhmih.jpg

Zey could haff told us Sir Davie von Veir was defending zis sector, no vunder our artillery vos useless against zem

mcleishmarrick
06-08-2009, 17:24
davie weir knew that big jock knew !!!! before big jock knew

mcleishmarrick
06-08-2009, 17:26
http://i29.tinypic.com/avhmih.jpg

Zey could haff told us Sir Davie von Veir was defending zis sector, no vunder our artillery vos useless against zem

and so the bedraggled celtic defence finally worked out that it was not a hurricane passing through them but davie weir !!

Flawed_Genius
06-08-2009, 17:31
Davie Weir built Stonehenge with his bare hands so he could have a kickabout against the Pagan fellas.

He drew 1-1 - the Pagans levelled in the last minute, Davie having been sent off just before the interval.

laudrup2004
06-08-2009, 18:22
he did indeed


don'y you have to write "FACT" after it to make it true????




btw Mike Tyson got himself jailed to dodge a bout with Davie.

Jeebus
06-08-2009, 18:27
I thought Jesus was a keeper? :confused:

He was a left winger who oddly inspired people to be right wing

harrylime
06-08-2009, 18:29
http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n304/harrylime_2006/2910_02_cr3.jpg
The fans gave him his own bus and parade in 1908/09:)

StevieD80
06-08-2009, 18:41
Sir Davie was the main reason the Romans had to build Hadrians wall!! FACT

Surge
06-08-2009, 18:45
did he not shoot down the italian ace paulo 'wan shot wan kill' maldini over abyssinia?

Did Paulo "wan shot" not play for Costa Rica and Derby County?


In 1742 Sir Edmund Halley died a broken man when he realised the fiery "comet" he believed he had calculated would return every 76 years was nothing more than an authoritative clearance from Davie Weir.

rez_1873
06-08-2009, 18:48
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
He fought them
He shot them
He Heids away the bombs
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme

:D

Would love this to be sung at a game.

wasneme
06-08-2009, 18:49
When the Queen posts letters her stamps have Davie Weirs face on them....theres first class but then theres Davie Weir Class

GirvanLighthouse
06-08-2009, 18:50
Sir Davie of Weir decided that the Romans were not getting into Bearsden as they wernt invited so built a wall across the Forth/Clyde frontier.

Some eejit called Tony with a pokey hat was selling walls ice cream that day and Davie being the humble leader of men declared the wall be named after wee Tony and so it came to be... Antonines Wall.

the_littlest_hobo
06-08-2009, 18:57
:D

Would love this to be sung at a game.

I'll be giving it a go down in Pompey

defender
06-08-2009, 19:14
http://i30.tinypic.com/4j88rb.jpg

SDoW (as he shall henceforth be known) heads dangerously detatched wrecking balls out of construction sites in his spare time, saving the lives of thousands of building workers.

Ironically, this one landed 3 miles away on a building directors motor, luckily SDoW had public liability cover.

Unionjake
06-08-2009, 19:16
When God said "Let their be light" a young SDoW shouted "say please"

gordon_blue
06-08-2009, 21:48
... And the Lord didst give unto Moses the tables containing the Ten Commandments.

"Thou shalt have no other gods and thou shalt worship only me" sayeth the Lord.

"But, what about Davie Weir?" asked Moses.

With that, Moses didst smite the tablets onto the ground exclaiming "I don't believe it!"

And so, the Lord went away and re-drafted his Commandments.


:D

marvsbeliever
06-08-2009, 21:59
A well known lothario in his youth much like Greegs nowadays he founded an internationally renowned engineering company and named it afters his many conquests. I give you

Weirs Pumps.

archimedes
06-08-2009, 22:32
Circa 330 A.D., and the ruler of Macedon, Alexander the Great has just been told the story of the lost continent of Atlantis by his mentor Aristotle, widely regarded as one of the most influential men of all time. Aristotle himself learned of Atlantis from his own teacher and mentor Plato, who wrote about the lost continent after hearing murmurings of it from his own teacher, Socrates.
However, the fate of the Atlanteans was never revealed by Socrates, who could not comprehend just how Sir Davie of Weir managed to header an entire continent off the globe, after the Atlantis manager refused to play Sir Davie because he believed he was "too old".

Idioteque
06-08-2009, 22:34
... And the Lord didst give unto Moses the tables containing the Ten Commandments.

"Thou shalt have no other gods and thou shalt worship only me" sayeth the Lord.

"But, what about Davie Weir?" asked Moses.

With that, Moses didst smite the tablets onto the ground exclaiming "I don't believe it!"

And so, the Lord went away and re-drafted his Commandments.


:D

Where was Pedro? :D

Idioteque
06-08-2009, 22:40
A well known lothario in his youth much like Greegs nowadays he founded an internationally renowned engineering company and named it afters his many conquests. I give you

Weirs Pumps.

off topic but its now called Clyde Pumps or something

wait till SDoW finds out!

defender
06-08-2009, 22:43
When he was even younger, SDoW served on HMS Victory during the battle of Trafalgar, things looked bleak at one stage due to the gunpowder for the cannons running out.

Davie stepped up and won the 1st of his many VC's (even though they hadn't been invented yet) by getting the midshipmen to lob cannon balls towards him so he could head them into the Spanish and French fleets

hence the now famous quote "on me heid Hardy"

Cardee
06-08-2009, 22:44
Whilst on International duty, one linesman made the often fatal mistake of flagging SDoW offside, despite the fact Sir Dave had begun his run from his own 6 yard box.

So incensed was he by the decision, he took retribution the only way he knew how.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05/08/article-1018595-012B828700000578-492_468x334.jpg

The linesman can be seen clearly frozen with fear

:)

beejay
06-08-2009, 22:51
Davie Weir killed the Dead Sea

KaiserSauzee
06-08-2009, 22:55
Superman has a Davie Weir duvet cover:cool:

Scotty2Dope
06-08-2009, 22:57
Another classic FF.com thread :D

BeardyBear
06-08-2009, 22:59
At the beginning of time, when the solar winds flushed through the universe with reckless abandon, when the skies raged with fire and fury - God challenged Sir Davie to a kick aboot. Not one to allow such things to go by, Davie accepted.

After a wee while it was clear that the Lord was refusing to play fair, as he kept sticking his studs in to big Davie's ankles. SDoW had an important match the next week, so he picked up his baw and headed home.

http://www.astramate.com/atlas.jpg

Forfar_bear
06-08-2009, 23:04
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
He fought them
He shot them
He Heids away the bombs
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme

this

:clap::clap::clap:

defender
06-08-2009, 23:09
To the tune of Robin Hood- write the next line

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU_kOivkkZE&feature=related

Davie Weir, Davie Weir, rising through the air

TimzRFudz
06-08-2009, 23:11
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Still has most his hair
He might be 39
But still he holds the line
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.


Tool the liberty of finishing it for you

defender
06-08-2009, 23:12
Heads German bombs

Napster79
06-08-2009, 23:15
Many years ago Sir Davie Of Weir set out on a journey with his namesake Tom who was 15 years of age. Sir Davie thought it would be a good idea to document the journey as it would take many years, so he recorded their travels on film. Sir Davie refused to appear on film himself for fear of sending the watching viewers into a frenzy so spent the entire journey behind the lens. The latter stages of this epic film can be found in the Scottish Television archives under the title Weirs Way.

burnsy2210
06-08-2009, 23:17
Davie Weir can fart peas onto the moon.

defender
06-08-2009, 23:22
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Still has most his hair
He might be 39
But still he holds the line
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.


Tool the liberty of finishing it for you

Superb mate, we should get this learnt for Saturday :D

gennaro
06-08-2009, 23:23
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Still has most his hair
He might be 39
But still he holds the line
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.


:clap::clap:

Two new tunes for Saturday :)

defender
06-08-2009, 23:28
:clap::clap:

Two new tunes for Saturday :)

Needs a 2nd verse...................................;)

logie48
06-08-2009, 23:32
Whilst on International duty, one linesman made the often fatal mistake of flagging SDoW offside, despite the fact Sir Dave had begun his run from his own 6 yard box.

So incensed was he by the decision, he took retribution the only way he knew how.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05/08/article-1018595-012B828700000578-492_468x334.jpg

The linesman can be seen clearly frozen with fear

:)

I likey :D:D:D

bulletproofdunc
06-08-2009, 23:32
I thought Jesus was a keeper? :confused:

You are correct of course, everyone knows that Jesus saves.

lebooboo
06-08-2009, 23:32
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, rising through the air

Davie Weir, Davie Weir, moves like Fred Astaire,
Plays at the rear, heads the ball clear,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir


:o

Northampton_loyalist
06-08-2009, 23:33
you can bet one of his team mates will have this printed off for him :clap:

gennaro
06-08-2009, 23:33
You are correct of course, everyone knows that Jesus saves.

And Sir Davie of Weir nods in the rebound :)

defender
06-08-2009, 23:34
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, moves like Fred Astaire,
Plays at the rear, heads the ball clear,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir


:o


Not bad, 3rd verse anyone ???

Surge
06-08-2009, 23:39
Not bad, 3rd verse anyone ???

Davie Weir, Davie Weir, with his hair of grey.
Davie Weir, got the cup on the 24th of May
He's older than yer mum, but he'll still beat the Scum
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir

GirvanLighthouse
06-08-2009, 23:41
Davie Weir Our Davie Weir
He has no fear and makes us cheer
The Rangers own Davie Weir

:o Sorry big chap if your looking in.

Tino72
06-08-2009, 23:48
Where was Pedro? :D he was coming back down the stairs with the re-drafted version his father gave him :):):):D

Exiled_Bluenose
07-08-2009, 00:01
Sir Davie of Weir has scored two goals exactly the same as Maradona's second v England. FACT.

Sir Davie of Weir once raced a Bugatti Veyron on a push bike, it was close and Davie had to work hard, but he beat it by a tenth of a second around Laguna Seca.

lebooboo
07-08-2009, 00:04
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, is a Teddy Bear,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, needs a comfy chair,
He cannot hear, when supporters cheer,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir


(dontknowwentaegiveup loyal)

beejay
07-08-2009, 00:40
You are correct of course, everyone knows that Jesus saves.


He dosnt like crosses though.

Idioteque
07-08-2009, 00:40
He dosnt like crosses though.

shocking :eek: :D

dublinbear
07-08-2009, 01:02
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8137/davyik.jpg

Someone with a contact at Ibrox has to make sure this makes it into the dressing room! :)

TimzRFudz
07-08-2009, 01:12
Davie Weir Davie Weir, rising through the air
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Still has most his hair
He might be 39
But still he holds the line
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.


Davie Weir Davie Weir, he's older than yer maw,
Davie Weir Davie Weir, he heids the fackin baw,
Still tackling scum,
As if he's 21,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.



bedtime for bonzo.

joeboots
07-08-2009, 01:20
Sir Davie once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

That was brilliant :) :clap:

defender
07-08-2009, 01:24
Davie Weir Davie Weir, rising through the air
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Still has most his hair
He might be 39
But still he holds the line
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.


Davie Weir Davie Weir, he's older than yer maw,
Davie Weir Davie Weir, he heids the fackin baw,
Still tackling scum,
As if he's 21,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir.



bedtime for bonzo.

Fantastic

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Flawed_Genius
07-08-2009, 01:57
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, is a Teddy Bear,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, needs a comfy chair,
He cannot hear, when supporters cheer,
Davie Weir, Davie Weir, Davie Weir


(dontknowwentaegiveup loyal)

Too good, way too good :D

Parkway Al
07-08-2009, 02:03
Sir Davie of Wier is so fast(:eek:) he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head!


ChuckNorrisLoyal:D:D

StevieD80
07-08-2009, 02:11
SDoW LOYAL R.S.C
Banner anyone? :) :)

simonon
07-08-2009, 02:47
Apparently the log barrier that the Thims had placed across the river mouth to prevent the Loyalists receiving supplies during the Seige of Derry received a severe head butting from Davie, to such an extent it became akin to matchwood and allowed the supply ships easy access.

I heard Davie also done his bit at the boyne.

Indeed it was Davie who taught King Billy how to ride a horse. Passing on the equestrian skills he learned during the crusades.

jivman
07-08-2009, 02:48
To the tune of an old favourite....

Oh he is old and he is beautiful
and his colours they are fine
he defends the Glasgow Rangers even though he's 39
Oh he marshals our defence and he is the captain of our team
And when he's drunk he ****s the pope and sings god save the queen!

:barscarf: :barscarf: :barscarf:



Sir David of Weir can do wheelies on a Unicycle

StevieD80
07-08-2009, 04:48
Sir Davie of Weir (SDoW). TOLD Issac Newton about the laws of Gravity after heading a falling apple into the Moons Orbit !!! FACT!!!
The Mhedia of course deleted this from history....Because they could !!!

gordon_blue
07-08-2009, 09:09
Bears, this has to be the best, funniest thread on here - ever!

I'm reading it at work and trying hard not to burst out laughing.

Brilliant, just brilliant!


Davie Weir was doing a bit of training overseas. His foot caught the ground and his stud scratched the surface.
It is now known as The Grand Canyon!

stoddy
07-08-2009, 09:29
The Stig's driving instructor was Sir Davie of Weir. Fact

xkpblue
07-08-2009, 10:00
Davie Weir created the Universe in 6 days, on the 7th he headered the Milky Way into it's correct location.

Jimenez
07-08-2009, 10:05
Davie Weir built Stonehenge with his bare hands so he could have a kickabout against the Pagan fellas.

He drew 1-1 - the Pagans levelled in the last minute, Davie having been sent off just before the interval.

ha ha take a bow :clap:

Jimenez
07-08-2009, 10:14
And as the Spanish Armada approached British shores SDoW shook the waters of the North sea with an excellently executed sliding tackle and summoned up an almighty storm that put an end to Spanish hopes of conquering the British crown.

west-end-bear
07-08-2009, 10:18
Davie was the first guy to piss his name in the snow. When he saw that other people were copying him he started to pissed his name into concrete.

pol1
07-08-2009, 10:20
Davie Weir once visited the Virgin Islands, they are now simply known as The Islands

CowboyBebop
07-08-2009, 10:44
A cobra once bit Davie Weir's leg.
After five days of exciating pain,
the cobra died

godfodder
07-08-2009, 10:47
Armed with nothing more than a snorkel and a pair of flippers, SDoW sunk the Belgrano with a well timed sliding tackle.

jivman
07-08-2009, 18:07
Don't let this thread die!! :)

Davie Weir doesn't need Viagra, Viagra needs Davie Weir!!

urbanpics
07-08-2009, 18:17
this is superb!!!

SM
07-08-2009, 18:19
Davie Weir has seen Hibs lift the Scottish Cup.

Unionjake
07-08-2009, 18:19
Artur Boruc can throw a football the length of of a football pitch

Sir David of Weir can throw him twice as far

CowboyBebop
07-08-2009, 18:32
Men once believed that Dave Weir revolved around the earth, today we know the opposite to be true, and the terrible price those fools paid for their ignorance.

Greenock Bear
07-08-2009, 18:54
the town Bridge of Weir is named after Sir David of Weir because he built the bridge FACT!

SM
07-08-2009, 18:57
Sir Davie's older brother, Sir Tom, was an FF hero years ago.

squaddie-bear
07-08-2009, 19:00
Sir Davie of Weir invented every colour, except pink, Artur Boruc invented pink.

logie48
07-08-2009, 19:05
http://i29.tinypic.com/qqzk0z.gif

Sir Davie, pictured in 1941, shows his fine self doing the sniper rounds in the parkhead area of Glasgow.

His sole mission that day was to spearhead operation bangalang, in which he himself, had to pick out any lighter throwers who may threaten to scupper the British war effort. Sir Dave proved crucial in this mission and officially took out a total of 53 throwers, although some historians claim it was nearer 627. A true and remarkable story, in which he earned the Victoria Cross for his duties.

Note the smile in his face as he picks one off from 14 miles away.

defender
07-08-2009, 20:10
http://i28.tinypic.com/29e15pj.jpg

Sir Davie of Weir was the first winner of the Scottish Cup in 1874, unfortunately it was awarded to Queens Park when it emerged SDoW was 6 players short of the regulation minimum 7 players.

Queens Park kicked off and SDoW headed a clearance off his line into the Queens Park net, after holding off Queens Park for the remainder of the half it remained 1-0 to Sir Davie at HT.

Queens Park rallied during the 2nd half but repeated attacks were repelled by SDoW.

Surrey True Blue
07-08-2009, 20:15
Sometimes,just sometimes Defender you can be a funny fker:p;)

halftemps
07-08-2009, 20:23
The earliest reference to Sir Davie of Weir in the Bible can be found in Genesis where his defensive clearance parted the waters of the Red Sea, a feat often erroneously attributed to Brian Laudrup.

Kintyrebear
07-08-2009, 20:23
If Davie Weir has 5 and you have 5, Davie has more money than you.

Apple pays Davie Weir 79p every time he listens to a song.

Davie Weir can sneeze with his eyes open.


Ha ha i laughed:D:D

Arveladzes Shuffle
07-08-2009, 20:25
When Dame Vera Lynn sang Well Meet Again she was singing to Sir Davie of Weir.

halftemps
07-08-2009, 20:29
The USA has abandoned its controversial Missile Defense System as President Obama asked Sir Davie of Weir to defend the West against all aggression. When Sir Davie agreed, Kim Jong Il sh*t his khaki suit.

jefftracy
07-08-2009, 20:29
Sir Davie developed a love of the stage and the great outdoors after constantly being pestered by his great grandchildren Molly and Tom to either play charades or go on long walks.

bigbluedevil
07-08-2009, 20:29
Vera sang it..Sir Davie wrote it!

Unionjake
07-08-2009, 20:34
Once on a visit to the H-Block Sir Davie of Weir laid his mars bar on the table while he went to the vending machine to buy a can of coke.
On his return he found that some upstart called Bob had taken a bite outta said sweetie,Sir Davie without any fuss or raised voices casually walked over to the long haired republican prisoner who was grinning and still chewing away and had a quiet word in his ear.
Now no one knows what Sir Davie said but do you know ....... that young man never ate again.

halftemps
07-08-2009, 20:35
Spock's Vulcan Death grip is a watered down version of the original which Sir Davie of Weir used to subdue the entire Klingon nation whilst simulataneously pleasuring Lieutenant Uhuru.

halftemps
07-08-2009, 20:37
Sir Davie of Weir invented time...just to amuse himself. Proof of this can be seen when his headed clearances create worm holes in the fabric of space.

halftemps
07-08-2009, 20:40
Sir Davie of Weir invented drugs...so that mere mortals could experience the sensation of being Sir Davie.

defender
07-08-2009, 22:00
http://i28.tinypic.com/358ulut.jpg

East Enclosure Ultra
07-08-2009, 22:08
Sir David of Weir doesnt sleep, he waits.......

defender
07-08-2009, 22:10
Sometimes,just sometimes Defender you can be a funny fker:p;)

Is it not past your bedtime ?

early start tomorrow :D

Reid86
07-08-2009, 22:16
Sir Davie of Weir once turned up for training late - Smith fined the rest of the team for being early

cant find the quote but about jesus saves and him being a keeper..

He dosnt like crosses though.

still pissing meself at these..

seriously, LOL.

deejaymac
07-08-2009, 22:41
Sir David invented beer, so that the rest of us could cope with not being Sir David.

Freely
07-08-2009, 22:53
Sir Davie of Weir one won a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.

loughgallloyal
07-08-2009, 22:56
Sir Davie of Weir doesn't need to walk

He lifts his foot and the earth moves for him

Lucky_Duck
07-08-2009, 23:00
Sir David invented beer, so that the rest of us could cope with not being Sir David.


Very thoughtful of him.

Cheers Sir Davie :cheers:

thebaronesslove
07-08-2009, 23:07
Porn stars jack off to Davie Weir films.

sonowilliam2
07-08-2009, 23:11
In the year of our Lord 2042 Sir Davie of Weir hung up his boots at the ripe old age of 72 and a half,as he walked down Edmiston drive he took one long last look at the Brox and he was heard to utter these words " It's time to give youth a chance "

Fact....As it was heard by passers by

SDOW

StevieD80
07-08-2009, 23:49
Sir Davie of Weir has fathered over 300 children to The Winners of Miss Scotland/Miss worlds/Miss Other countries....He did of course refuse to pump Miss ireland.Politely saying "naw i dont want to catch something"!! :agree: FACT

kennyv231086
08-08-2009, 01:04
When Sir David of Weir wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

wasneme
08-08-2009, 01:58
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

If the A-Team have a problem they call Sir Davie of Weir

FortWilliamLoyal
08-08-2009, 02:27
Davie Weir is absolutely superb IMO. One of my favourite Rangers players.

I don't think I love him quite as much as a mate of mine and certain poster though...:angel::D

Dippy55
08-08-2009, 02:57
Sir Davie of Weir taught Jack Bauer everything he knows today.

Jack
08-08-2009, 03:00
Davie weir was the only defender on the planet that Stanley matthews never nutmegged!

Davie Weir nutmegged Stanley Mathews;-)

defender
08-08-2009, 03:00
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

If the A-Team have a problem they call Sir Davie of Weir

cue pic of A Team bus with SDoW written on it :D

Reid86
08-08-2009, 03:16
Sir Davie of Weir CAN believe it's not butter.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a SDoW goalmouth clearance.

SDoW has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1986 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an Ally McCoist panini sticker.

FlyingSidekick
08-08-2009, 03:17
The police often question Sir Davie just because they find him interesting.

Sir Davie's reputation is expanding faster than the universe.

Sir Davie once had an awkward moment.... just to see what it felt like.

sonowilliam2
08-08-2009, 03:19
Davie Weir is absolutely superb IMO. One of my favourite Rangers players.

I don't think I love him quite as much as a mate of mine and certain poster though...:angel::D

And no wonder for goodness sake,Sir David once climbed Ben Nevis,i'm sure there's a few posters on here that can be witness to thee.As one of his fellow mountaineers dropped from the sky he shouted " Shagger catch " alas to no avail. :(

SOW

StevieD80
08-08-2009, 03:49
The police often question Sir Davie just because they find him interesting.

Sir Davie's reputation is expanding faster than the universe.

Sir Davie once had an awkward moment.... just to see what it felt like.
Dont be silly now !!
If the police stop SDoW for doing 120 mph....
He just rolls down the window and says"on your way son"
Piggy says "Sorry Sir Davie" and pays him a 60 quid fine !

sonowilliam2
08-08-2009, 03:59
And no wonder for goodness sake,Sir David once climbed Ben Nevis,i'm sure there's a few posters on here that can be witness to thee.As one of his fellow mountaineers dropped from the sky he shouted " Shagger catch " alas to no avail. :(

SOW

As a matter off was there not a book brought out following this ?

SOW

Surge
08-08-2009, 04:03
E doesn't equal m c squared. It equals whatever the **** SDoW tells it to equal.

THe first 4 books of the new testament are Mathew, Mark, Luke and Davie. Only ONE is an autobiogrphy.

lebooboo
08-08-2009, 04:03
he won the 1986 world series of poker, despite holding only a joker, a get out of jail free monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an ally mccoist panini sticker.

ffs......:)

jmw1972
08-08-2009, 04:13
Davie Weir makes crop circles.... but shhhh not allot of people know that.

In 1066, General Weir did all the work for some upstart called William.

castlestreet1690
08-08-2009, 07:35
SDoW Taught bear grylls everything he knows

He only ever got angry with bear once (SDoW does not tell anyone twice) and that was when they were in the reptile infested outback of the parkhead area and bear tried to eat a mutants ersehole

fourbus
08-08-2009, 08:09
Lieutenant Sir David of Weir`s. platoon ran out of ammunition while defending a blasted bridge on the Dyle River in Belgium. The Germans started across the river. Lieut. Weir ran forward alone into machine-gun fire, bombarded the enemy with hand grenades, drove them back with more than 20 casualties. Later that night, though wounded, he repeated the performance. When he was finally ordered to withdraw his platoon, he did so in good order, but found his batman (Papac) had been left behind. He went back, fetched the orderly in a wheelbarrow, then passed out Gin and Tonics to the troops.

dublinbear
08-08-2009, 08:21
SDoW has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1986 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an Ally McCoist panini sticker.

Theres not a lot can make me laugh after a week of nightshifts, but that is funny as f***! :D :)

JCD19
08-08-2009, 08:28
The only reason Golliath let David win was the fact that Davie Weir was due to play the winner.

Reid86
08-08-2009, 09:19
The only reason Golliath let David win was the fact that Davie Weir was due to play the winner.

LOL, pre FF footy giggles :D:D

potnbear
08-08-2009, 09:46
Sir Davie of weir gives paracetamol a headache

apollo
08-08-2009, 12:00
Stevie Wonder once had the cheek to look at Sir Davie Of Weir.


Once.

StevieD80
08-08-2009, 13:21
Stephen Hawking once had the cheek to criticise Sir Davie of Weir's performance in a match.... Sir Davie promptly rammed a Speak and Spell machine down his throat !! FACT

opersson
08-08-2009, 20:56
I heard Sir Davie took on the Zulus single handedly at Rourkes Drift.

What a man!

Sir Davie was also responsible for making Rourke drift, in the first place.

StevieD80
09-08-2009, 06:28
Sir Davie of Weir has won Olympic Gold Medals for the 100 Meters sprint....
(A long time ago!!)

williamstown
09-08-2009, 06:32
He told Brother Waldo to stick his soup up his arse as he's not Irish,
and he had tuna in the house.

Castletownloyal
09-08-2009, 11:23
Granduer has delusions of SDoW.

Laudrupslovechild
09-08-2009, 13:59
When SDoW got bored of his local running track he knocked up a wee replacement called the M6.

defender
09-08-2009, 14:03
Umbro have decide to cut export costs and get Sir Davie of Weir to visit their factory once a month and head all the new balls over to the overseas retailers

experiment626
09-08-2009, 15:51
You can't have your cake and eat it.

Unless you're SDoW, then you get everyone elses cake too.

rangers51counting
09-08-2009, 17:18
when artur(the queer goalie)boruc grabbes sir davie of weir by the throat after an old firm game sir davie of weir's neck muscles broke the gay goalies hand in 5 places

squaddie-bear
12-08-2009, 18:59
Sir Davie of Weir wouldn't have been sent off against Norway and would have used devastating sliding tackles to stop the goals.

urbanpics
12-08-2009, 20:06
sir davie of weir makes the best spag ball ever...FACT

defender
12-08-2009, 22:18
http://i26.tinypic.com/246s411.jpg

You never see Sir Davie of Weir and Batman in the same place....FACT

Also, Commissioner Gordon now uses the Weir phone when Gotham is in danger

simonon
13-08-2009, 00:36
Contrary to popular belief it was it was SDoW that composed the majority of the Beatles classic album Sgt Pepper.

With The Beatles unable to come up with enough quality material for the album Mick Jagger suggested they contact SDoW to sort out the problem.

Davie had previously written ( I can't get no ) satisfaction for the Rolling Stones when they were under pressure to come up with some songs of their
own.

SDoW composed 24 tracks for the Beatles 13 were recorded for Sgt Pepper with the remaining songs turning up on The Beach boys Pet Sounds album released later in the same year. .................... FACT.

Dan Winters Cottage
13-08-2009, 10:18
On hearing that our boys were pinned down on the Normandy beaches and staring defeat in the face. Sir Davie created a beachhead with one well placed clearing header and the rest as they say is history.
Also, Hitler didn't commit suicide because the russians were coming. He had heard that Sir and Lady Davie had booked a romantic break to Berlin.

and these my friends are FACTS!!

Dan Winters Cottage
13-08-2009, 10:21
Jesus consulted SDoW before feeding the 5 thousand, SDoW said go ahead with the loaves and fishes big yin, it's no a Friday.

bluebaz
13-08-2009, 10:40
Methuselah was in the same school team as Davie Weir

So was the WM of my lodage. I'll need to ask him about that one. :D

To True
13-08-2009, 11:29
I genuinely love Davie Weir. I wish he was my boyfriend!

lebooboo
13-08-2009, 11:37
I genuinely love Davie Weir. I wish he was my boyfriend!

Me too............

gattuso8
15-08-2009, 01:01
Davie Weir is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like David Weir :ninja:

Bunbury Bear
15-08-2009, 01:52
The highest grossing film of all time was ;

Sir Davie of Weir - 101 best clearing headers.

Sir Davie wanted to give other films a chance so it was removed from the record books at his request.

defender
23-08-2009, 22:02
When one of Sir Davie's team mates get sent off and the official is clearly a tarrier, he just thinks that makes it fairer

Sir Davie of Weir is worth 3 jambo's FACT

essie_rfc
23-08-2009, 22:08
some of these are toppers.

cookiemonster
23-08-2009, 22:23
Sir Davie of Weir CAN believe it's not butter.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a SDoW goalmouth clearance.

SDoW has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1986 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an Ally McCoist panini sticker.

This thread is brilliant,everytime i think of the poker hand i laugh even more,great work sir,keep it up guys :):)

Reid86
23-08-2009, 23:04
This thread is brilliant,everytime i think of the poker hand i laugh even more,great work sir,keep it up guys :):)

tbh i was giggling like a wee lassie when i was typing it.

thinks hes a funny **** loyal. :)

Red_White_and_Ajax
23-08-2009, 23:11
SDoW has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1986 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an Ally McCoist panini sticker.

there are few things posted on here that actually make me laugh like a ****ing idiot

this is one of them :D :clap:

cooprfc
23-08-2009, 23:41
SDoW was once taking a bath in the middle of the atlantic when the titanic hit him.
The story of the iceberg was made up to protect the identities of the 5 married women scrubbing davies back.

BlueRambo
23-08-2009, 23:58
Davie Weir was an early investor in Apple.........the fruit

Shankill_Loyalist
24-08-2009, 00:07
What a thread :D
4 more years Davie.

The Predator
24-08-2009, 00:08
Betty needs permission from SDoW in order to sell her world famous hotpot.

portoron
24-08-2009, 00:08
Rumours are he taught Jesus Christ how to effectively use the offside trap.

and carpentry

StevieD80
24-08-2009, 02:54
Sir Davie of Weir......



Taught Gazza how to play the Sash !!


http://i25.tinypic.com/1zvsbyx.jpg


:):):)

AndyPenman72
24-08-2009, 08:37
There are 6 david wiers. One the seventh, god rested :)

adamski
24-08-2009, 10:04
H.G. Wells had to rewrite the War of the Worlds, because he felt the true ending in which Davie Weir stuck the nut on the invading tripods sending them flying into orbit would have been too controversial


Jeff Wayne included a tribute to Weir however in his 1970s Musical version, the hidden track on the 2nd LP being named "The Eve of the Weir"

bluebaz
24-08-2009, 10:34
Genius thread!!! :):):)

halifax
24-08-2009, 11:29
David Weir succesfully explained the "who's on first"comedy sketch to Rainman.

pol1
24-08-2009, 11:38
Sir Davie of Weir hates the Beatles


Two to go.......

gennaro
24-08-2009, 11:41
Sir Davy of Weir lacks Courage











...he only drinks the odd glass of red wine :cool:

rangerstillidie
24-08-2009, 11:55
Everyone thought the famine was a natural disaster. Actually Sir Davie hid all the potatoes in the sea, as he knew the irish were not clever enough to go fishing.

corrie bar bear
24-08-2009, 12:00
Scientist's have now discovered it wasn't a meteor that killed the dinosaurs........but one of Sir Davie of Weir's headed clearences made during a kickabout with the cavemen .....FACT

Nil_By_Butt
24-08-2009, 12:20
Many scientists believe that the moon was formed following a planetary collision. In actual fact, Sir David Of Weir formed the moon with his bare hands making use of the remnants of his opponents broken teeth. The craters we can see on the moon are also down to SDoW as a result of his headed clearances.

RangersCentreHalf
24-08-2009, 12:29
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when SDOW punched himself.

rangerstillidie
24-08-2009, 12:32
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when SDOW punched himself.

What sentence generator are you all using, because it's brilliant :D:D

britain
24-08-2009, 13:19
Great thread and to think I doubted Walter Smith bringing him to Rangers in teh first place...

Cardee
24-08-2009, 13:26
The ancient Mayan belief that the world will end in 2012 was recently given further credibility when it transpired that the Mayans date 'coincides' with the date that Sir David of Weir is due to next go for a sh1t.

sigmund_freud
24-08-2009, 13:34
SDoW is the only man ever to beat a brick wall at heady tennis.

SDoW was asked to play the hulk in the recent film, he refused as it made him look skinny, and he doesn't like the colour green.

TOBYJUG
24-08-2009, 13:34
http://i29.tinypic.com/qqzk0z.gif

Sir Davie, pictured in 1941, shows his fine self doing the sniper rounds in the parkhead area of Glasgow.

His sole mission that day was to spearhead operation bangalang, in which he himself, had to pick out any lighter throwers who may threaten to scupper the British war effort. Sir Dave proved crucial in this mission and officially took out a total of 53 throwers, although some historians claim it was nearer 627. A true and remarkable story, in which he earned the Victoria Cross for his duties.

Note the smile in his face as he picks one off from 14 miles away.

top drawer, I spat tea over the keyboard reading this.

Cardee
24-08-2009, 14:22
The recent attempt by boffins to recreate 'The God particle' had to be aborted as some mad scientist thought it would be a good idea to recreate the 'Davie Weir' particle.

Upon realising the danger the scientist was placing the machine in, its central computer became self aware, initiating an auto protect program which resulted in the violent death of the scientist and his staff.

Skynet was born!

Sir Dave casually dealt with this threat by pressing the yellow button on his Sky remote.

halifax
24-08-2009, 14:31
Davd weer cured me of my obsessive pedanticnes regardin speling n grammmer on massage bords yes.

gmcgregor
24-08-2009, 14:39
SDoW has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1986 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and an Ally McCoist panini sticker.

Belter :D...

arnietac1
24-08-2009, 14:41
Sir Davie of Weir can count to infinity...and he has done it twice.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Davie Weir "Danny Weir" He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Davie accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a baby with perfect timing, game awareness and heading ability. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

SDOW can be a bit selfish though. For instance his tears can cure cancer. SDOW has never cried though.

Surrey_Blue
24-08-2009, 14:45
Batman wears Davie Weir pyjama's.

bearskin
24-08-2009, 15:16
Sir Davie of Weir can count to infinity...and he has done it twice.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Davie Weir "Danny Weir" He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Davie accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a baby with perfect timing, game awareness and heading ability. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

SDOW can be a bit selfish though. For instance his tears can cure cancer. SDOW has never cried though.

A superb 5000th post if I may say so sir :D

pol1
24-08-2009, 15:44
Wonder if any of the players have let Sir Davie see this thread :)

Must keep this going :D

Supermans only weakness is kryptonite, Sir Davie thinks Superman is a poof for having a weakness

Murdoch9999
24-08-2009, 15:49
The ancient Mayan belief that the world will end in 2012 was recently given further credibility when it transpired that the Mayans date 'coincides' with the date that Sir David of Weir is due to next go for a sh1t.

nearly fell off my chair laughing at this one!

Cardee
24-08-2009, 16:18
King Kanute once famously tried to command the waves to stop.

In the good Kings defence, he didn't know the waves were running away from a p1ssed off Sir Davie.

RFC_Sooty
24-08-2009, 16:22
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme
He fought them
He shot them
He Heids away the bombs
Davie Weir was at the Somme, at the Somme


I like that song:D.


Good thread:).

MDM
24-08-2009, 16:30
Davie Weir created the Steak Bake.

After noticing they were looking a little dirty, he also painted the cliffs at Dover white....

suttonger
24-08-2009, 19:48
SDoW insists on carrying michelle mcmanus on his back anytime he races the 100 metres,just to give usain bolt a better chance of keeping up.

Gorbals_Loyal
24-08-2009, 20:25
One day an inventor created a football so huge that he claimed no-one could heeder it,

He hadn't met SDoW yet......

Most people now know this ball as The Sun.

Cardee
24-08-2009, 20:39
Upon hearing that Sir Dave was being recalled to the Scotland squad, FIFA granted the Macedonians permission to start the match with 18 men if SDoW starts the match.


Rumours have emerged that every striker qualifying to play for Macedonia have suddenly declared themselves 'unavailable for selection' are being investigated.

Marc_dGris
24-08-2009, 20:45
Sir David of Weir is Sir Tom Weirs dad

mrgallus
24-08-2009, 20:46
SDOW ...what a thread chaps!

Tallyho!

.................:)

Cardee
24-08-2009, 20:53
The Six Million Dollar Man was initially meant to be based on Sir Davie.

The producers had to change their plans when they realised that $6m wouldn't build Sir Dave's shoes.

sheaalan
24-08-2009, 21:35
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Sir Davie of Weir.

Sir Davie has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

BAUXBLUE
24-08-2009, 21:37
FFS Everyone knows that SDoW is a former Brickie who now plays professional football with Rangers F.C.
















What they don't know is that he is the worlds original Brickie .
Building the pyramids for his friend the pharoah no less.
:clap::clap::clap: :)

Cardee
24-08-2009, 21:44
It's rumoured that the kafflik church are opposed to Sir Dave entering Heaven, that's why he's lived so long.

Apparently, they're concerned that Mary will be unable to stick to her celibate lifestyle should she ever meet Sir Dave.

urbanpics
24-08-2009, 21:54
a young fanny craddock made her world famous doughnuts in the hope of marrying sir davie of weir. our hero had to tell her no, due to the sex......he doesnt make a fanny weir

bigy
24-08-2009, 22:01
We should start a new song for Davie to the tune of Dad's army!!

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Burley, if you think old Davie's done
Davie's the man who defends with applaum
Davie's the man who fought Gerry at the Somme
So who do you think you are kidding Mr Burley, if you think old Davie's done

jjbscotty
24-08-2009, 22:03
http://i30.tinypic.com/35kix5g.jpg

As we all know Sir Davie headed Germans bombs from the trenches in the Somme but in the next war he actually distinguished himself as wing comander of 602 City of Glasgow Squadron.

He actually make the first successfull kill in 1939, whilst patroling the skies above the Clyde estuary protecting merchant shipping smoking his pipe and remaining calm (that was before the smoking ban on planes of course), he noticed some German ME109's heading towards Ibrox.

In true defensive reactions he calmly called 'tally ho' to his chums (including the uncles of Kevin Thomson and Steven Davis). This action along with several others saw Britain qualify for the next tie in France and saved Ibrox.

Not a lot of people know that !Sasa is playing them all on far right:D

gazzasno8jersey
24-08-2009, 22:06
When casted as 'Jack Bauer' Kiefer Sutherland wanted a role model to base his character on and his attention was drawn to the life & times of SDOW.

biggee
24-08-2009, 22:10
Some say that Davie Weir taught The Stig to drive!

Napster79
24-08-2009, 22:15
We should start a new song for Davie to the tune of Dad's army!!

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Burley, if you think old Davie's done
Davie's the man who defends with applaum
Davie's the man who fought Gerry at the Somme
So who do you think you are kidding Mr Burley, if you think old Davie's done

I absolutely love that

RFC_Sooty
24-08-2009, 22:25
"Davie Weir fought in the somme"


That could make a decent t-shirt.

Steve A Stevens
24-08-2009, 23:20
History tells us that Alfred Nobel invented dynamite, this is actually bullshingle.

SDoW invented it, his use? as a decongestant, he has never had a blocked nose since, and rumour has it that SDoW can sniff out a chocolate button in the Amazonian rainforest, blindfolded.

Albert Nobel though was indeed involved in this, as he was a paper boy who had a round in the area where SDoW lived, our Bluenosed Demigod gave the invention to Albert as a tip along with a signed copy of shoot magazine...

sheaalan
25-08-2009, 00:47
During the Second World War SDoW had a very important role in Operation Chastise.

His job was to swim along a German river and heid the bombs dropped by 617 Squadron towards German Dams :D

90minbear
25-08-2009, 01:29
God created the Earth in 6 days. On the 7th he took a rest.

While he was having his kip SDOW noticed he had not created any nice big mountains for Rangers to train on so he nipped off and put a mountain in Nepal. Called it after a double glazing company he foresaw in the future.

When he created the mountain he brought back a load of sand from the Sahara and built the Gullane sands as an alternative as he figured maybe Easyjet wouldn't fly to Nepal cheaply enough for the Mint.

pedro_the_meek
25-08-2009, 09:42
Michael Jackson wanted the same colour of skin as SDoW. Fact.






WATP

Peter Mendes
25-08-2009, 09:46
SDoW doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Idioteque
25-08-2009, 09:52
Oh Davie Weir is ****ing ancient
Oh Davie Weir is ****ing ancient
He's 39
but he's still divine
And Davie Weir will live forever mooooorreee

:)

clarky1690
25-08-2009, 10:03
Jeremey Beadle shook SDoW's hand once, the rest is history:D

BAUXBLUE
25-08-2009, 10:10
The pope has been known to question SDoW with the following.

" SDoW, I need to know , was Mary really a Virgin"
SDoW smiles :D :D :D, and retorts, What do you think.

corrie bar bear
25-08-2009, 10:11
Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the ram in ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?












SIR DAVIE OF WEIR................FACT:roll::roll::dance::dance:

Cardee
25-08-2009, 10:29
Sir Dave is allowed to call Her Majesty, Betty.

arnietac1
25-08-2009, 10:37
SDOW took a girls virginity then gave her it back...just so he could take it again.